DaddyOh

Friday, August 9, 2013

Addendum on Identity

This is a follow-on note reflecting on the blogpost “A (not so) short reflection on International Living” http://daddyoh-daniel.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/a-not-so-short-reflection-on.html and the notion of Identity.

I mention at one point in the content of the blog about identity and that I am referring to identity as ‘knowing where you are from’ and go on to talk about knowing your tribe, your community, etc. Clearly this is an important aspect of identity; a lens through which to view it or perhaps better still…. a side angle view on a shapeless notion but I didn't set out to give the intention that these are the only locators of identity! I want to elaborate briefly here on the idea that identity is pre-determined and pre-conceived: we are born with it and we will die with it a sense of ourselves that only we own and know, our character.

In the blog I insinuate that identify is greatly influenced by our experiences and our environment, where we grow up, the people we meet and I stick to this idea. This is particularly relevant when extreme events occur in people’s lives that ‘shape’ them and are reflected in who they are and often what they do. Events don’t have to be extreme of course…for example I can say that my parents’ unselfish giving throughout their lives or my Asian travels through the ‘80’s (which had their extreme moments) shaped who I have become and gave texture, color and shape to my identity. Of course a near-death experience, giving birth to a child, a visitation by another being, a trip into the 5^th dimension, these extreme moments will clearly add qualitatively to ones identity.

In brief then I concur, we are born with an identity, it is the basis of our individuality and our conscious naissance. I believe the influences on it begin even in the womb and that the emotions of the mother are transferred and experienced by the infant. I think it is clear that identity evolves with our experiences, it morphs, it develops, it does not stay the same in its expression but it does remain the same in its essence; that with which we began.

I ponder.....where does that leave my 'third culture' sons when they are asked "so...where do you come from?" born in Malaysia to a French mother and Canadian/British father having lived in Malaysia, Lebanon, Ecuador and now Nepal they are not yet savvy enough to say..."duh...like as if that's important". So the link to where you are from is relevant to their identity, at least as children and I would posit not entirely irrelevant to world-wandering adults either. Interestingly they normally answer they are from Canada...but then so do I and I was born in London, England!

I would suggest that the shifts and changes in life that challenge us on all levels (mental, intellectual, psychic, emotional, spiritual…) be appreciated as occurrences that, when brought in some way into the individuals’ personal experience, augment the process of the evolving identity. Key is full awareness, appreciation, gratitude and a positive outlook so that the experience, best understood in the present moment, enhances identity and brings us towards self-realization and understanding. Anything less and you sell yourself short on your life experience.

It is little wonder when the world around us seems to be devolving into the shallow, superficial, soulless and aggressive realm of greed, selfishness and the commercialization of the imagination that identity becomes lost and the means to discovering it become less and less apparent or accessible even while it becomes more and more required. In this era we see a surge of interest in yoga and meditation as people seek to lighten their burden of being...they are seeking to know who they are, find their identity perhaps so they can love themselves and be happy, which is after all the ultimate quest of human existence, or is it?

Monday, August 5, 2013

First Impressions......return to Kathmandu!

I’ve been asked a few times for my first impressions of Nepal, returning now, 15 years since my last visit and 23 years since I last lived here.

the market in Durbar Square, Kathmandu hasn't changed in centuries.

What to say? It has definitely changed, I mean where could you travel to that hasn’t changed after 25 years……but at the same time, and in many ways, it hasn’t changed a bit.

Baba smoking chilums at Pashupatinath, boom shiva, this will never change!

I was sniggered at when I first suggested this on my second night in-country, that it hadn't changed much but now after two months and gaining several more ‘first impression’ reference points, I’d say it is actually pretty accurate and the sniggerer a result of the expat bubble phenomenon I will write on another time.

This will never change, the kora around the stupa at Bouddnath.

I use the goldfish bowl to describe the Kathmandu Valley experience over 23 years, bearing in mind that over this period the country had in 1990, a quiet revolution that ushered in a constitutional monarchy and diminished the role of the royalty in government. Then through the '90's came the build up to a harsh, acrimonious civil war that lasted through the 90's into the 00's and in the middle of which came the sudden shocking loss of nearly all the Royal family in a mass assassination in 2001. Here is a nice 'light' account of what may have happened, an event equally as surrounded by conspiracy theory as the assassination of JKF just not as well-publicized in Western mainstream media.

http://americanepali.wordpress.com/2012/06/01/royal-massacre-11-years-later/

The Royals were revered by many and despised by many but were very much a part of the national identity, it is only in 2008 that the remaining Royal, King Geyandra was removed from any active political role and a Republic declared. The effect that the loss of the royalty has had both at the time of their mass assassination and when Geyandra was removed is like taking away the back-ground color on the national flag; they Royals provided a common reference point for an ethnically and politically diverse and divided population, religiously the King is believed to be the reincarnation of the Hindu god Vishnu and so it is hard for Hindus not to revere him. !...at the risk of over-stepping I reserve further comment leaving the subject to better informed pundits.

So I liken the valley to a goldfish bowl. The difference between now and 23 years ago is that the number of fish in the bowl has more than tripled, many of those kitch ornamental and whatnot aquarium thingys have been added to some very old ones, some of the dominant fish are gone, but others remain.... and sadly it seems the fishbowl water hasn’t been cleaned in all that time. Fortunately there are still the same fish, still the same miraculous way that things function (like the very busy airport in the middle of the city!), still the same ‘namaste’ greeting with a smile and bow, still the same chaotic street level activity, the same things for sale, the same touts...same monuments many of which are now World Heritage Sites. If memory serves there were 800,000 people in the Valley in 1987, today there are estimated to be more than 3 Million with the same number of roads many of which have not been maintained or repaired since they were built. And now you can even build vertically upwards (apartment buildings have sprouted!). This was previously forbidden lest you be able to 'peek' into the Royal Palace grounds.

Thing is, the Valley and the whole country has changed significantly and in many ways. The rise of the Maoist insurgency following the political changes in 1990 (the year I left) has changed the character of the people. This was a nasty war, one that rose with unexpected stinging hostility, where people had X’s marked on their doors and were later killed, where men and children were taken in the night to fight at the front line. The ensuing conflict between the Maoists and the State cost 13,000 lives That sort of thing cannot go without affecting the national psyche and I sense a lack of community trust and a very much more dog eat dog, like a hunger, kind of attitude amongst the people. Having just come from Beirut, another war-affected nation, I recognize in any monetary negotiation, a grasping desperation in the people, a tendency to grab today what may not be there in an uncertain tomorrow. This is reflected in an abrupt approach to foreigners in the market place, in Nepal, that wasn't there before, bargaining was friendlier, funner and now there is a taste of acrimony once the deal is done.

Another clear knock on effect of the war has been the enormous influx of rural people into the Valley, the building that has gone on here in especially in the past 9 years (peace was declared in 2006) has been incredible. People displaced by the war didn't go back home once it was all over, they had established themselves, become comfortable and they are here to stay. This is ironic because as a direct consequence of the war (according to some long staying expats), a 'people's war', is that things have actually improved considerably in rural Nepal, from whence the insurgency rose, but in the capital…..the improvements are harder to achieve and therefore harder to see. Out in the country-side there are more roads, more schools and more clinics, more access to essential services and markets. In the Valley it is choked with traffic every day, access to services? well, there is access if you don't mind sitting in traffic half your day.

you might call Tribhuvan International Airport (KTM) an 'inner city airport!

...that is something that has changed significantly, the traffic and associated particle (dust) and gaseous (exhaust emissions) pollution. A huge problem when because of weather patterns and the geomorphology of the Valley pollution gets trapped particularly during winter months apparently to suffocating extents. While there is much press about 'most polluted cities' Kathmandu ranks 29th on the WHO 2013 survey (many Chinese cities either do not monitor or report). It remains to be seen for us, how bad the pollution really is, I mean we were living in downtown Beirut for 3yrs! And...3 million people do live in the Kathmandu Valley, thriving and surviving...so it may be polluted but it is highly inhabited!

What the Valley clearly hasn't lost is something that no amount of people-made pollution or confusion will ever change. The Kathmandu Valley still has the Vibe; one of the most amazing spiritual vibrations of any urban area in Asia, perhaps the world. This vibration is carried forward hourly by the devotion of the people be it at their home altar, at the multitude of temples for morning and evening puja (prayer), walking the clockwise kora at Bouddanath or Swayambunath for the Buddhists or bringing your dead ones to be burned at the ghats at Pashupatinath for the Hindus. The Vibe is what brought the hippies to Kathmandu through those heady days of the '60's (and the black hashish), the Vibe continues to draw people to the Valley and is amplified by the plethora of festivals that occur year round.

Bhaktapur

The Valley has a fantastic climate; at 1300m+ altitude, even the monsoon heat has been a tolerable 31-33C and in winter it doesn't go below 5C so a bit uncomfortable for 2-3months/ year, the rest of the time it is fantastic with views (from September to May) of the Himalayas stretching along the East-West axis to the north of the Valley. There is amazing trekking in the Valley at Sivapuri National Park or the Queen's forest, biking, hiking, bird watching. And then there are the opportunities for personal and spiritual development in yoga (ex.http://pranamaya-yoga.com/), Buddhist studies, Ayurvedic medicine, Shamanic plant medicine ceremonies, Hindu philosophic exploration...you name it and its here.

Pashupatinath, burning ghats on the banks of the mighty Bagmati River

So that Vibe hasn't changed either and is part of what makes Kathmandu such a place that global travellers must not miss. I am teaching yoga here both privately (email: elementalyoga.daniel@yahoo.com) and at the studio mentioned above and will be open for Elemental yoga therapy clients in September and will be leading a yoga-trek in November, hopefully the first of a few that I will lead.

Flower of Life

Certainly I am happy to put together trips for people who are interested in bringing a group over, yoga, retreats, treks, all are doable in collaboration with professional Nepali colleagues. If you want to join November's trek, let me know in advance and I'll pave the way...http://pranamaya-yoga.com/event/everest-yoga-experience-a-beautiful-trekking-and-yoga-holiday-in-nepal/

And so with that subtle yet cleverly inserted commercial plug(!) the journey continues, something else that never changes. I am sure Kathmandu will reveal herself even more as time and experience in the Valley goes on, through the people I meet and my explorations and as personal processes unfold....

oh and did I mention I'm getting a new mo'bike to help enhance the experience? Check it out... http://pricenepal.com/yamaha/75-new-fzs.html

Namaste eh!

Sunday, June 9, 2013

...And the wildest dreams of Kew are the facts of Kathmandu! (RKipling)

That 'just arrived' look!

In the words of Ecuador fief cohabitant (read serf), co-owner of the trickshaw, tenant and companjero, James Birthrong III “that’s the way she rolls”. And roll she does, life that is, she rolls right along. I am in the moment before yet another international move, this time from Vilcabamba, Ecuador to Kathmandu, Nepal….pretty much the opposite side of the planet (but at least still the same planet, albeit arguably a different world). Cecile is posted to Kathmandu with the UN Refugee Agency and starts work on 15 June. Together with the boys and I, we’ll take up residency and likely be there 3yrs.

Nepal. Been there (first in 1986), lived there once upon a time (1987-1990) and I am looking forward to it although the changes will be myriad and I expect initially to provoke some distress. 23yrs ago (!!) when I left, it was still a city of manageable proportions with a reincarnate king (revered by many), 184 days of holiday in the year and we biked everywhere that we didn’t walk. I was there in the hey-day just post hippy era when you could still roll up a spliff in public and being a trekking/ climbing guide put you in an elite echelon of near demi-god’s in the tourism business, still Nepal’s main source of foreign income. I was in my mid-20’s living the high life in Shangri-la.

The air isn't so bad now, monsoon season.
Just trying out the gear.

Times have changed. First the Royal family was deposed and replaced by a Republic, they were then shot up and most of them killed (by the King’s own playboy son no less), trade went nutty with China and India, the two Asian giants, pinching Nepal from either side building roads and taking advantage of Nepali’s desperate for acceptance and opportunity by one of their gargantuan neighbors. Disquiet resulted in a civil war with the rise of the Maoists as a movement that, by the time peace was signed in 2006 had killed 13,000 people. The war caused significant urbanization as rural villagers escaped (the recruitment of their children into the war, amongst other things) to the Kathmandu valley. With that I am told has come a sometimes suffocating air pollution made up of particulate matter like dust from the movement of too many people in a small place, carbon burning because many people still use fires for cooking, burning of plastic and rubber and unregulated industrial burning combined with an stagnant air movement pattern in the Valley. Kathmandu is not high altitude, in fact it is about the same as Vilcabamba (1300-1500m) but mountains surround the alluvial basin and only when the wind blows in from the south does the Valley get a breath of fresh air. The rest of the time it wallows in its toxic airborne soup. This will be a challenge. Since Beirut us lads have lived in the unpolluted mountains of the lower Andes, our lungs cleansed and now possibly vulnerable to abuse; we’ll have to see (how she rolls).

It is still Kathmandu with its unique, high frequency, off its head vibration. The mélange of Hinduism and Buddhism that creates a fantastic Crazyism has not gone away. And you can still escape easily to the high fringes of the valley where the air and the views are quite refreshing. Neither have the tourists gone away, they are re-massing now that there is a semblance of political stability. The industry related activity level in the valley, in the skies and in the mountains reaches a crescendo during the two main trekking/climbing seasons (Oct-Dec, Feb-April). There is a major Siva temple in the valley, a mega forceful Krishna presence and a hugely active Tibetan Buddhist community with monasteries forever. And there are temples for Kumari, for Vishnu, for Durga, Parvati, you name a god/dess, there will be one. Whether on the street corner or out on a hillside, you never run short of temples in Nepal all with their festivals and moments related to the moon or the sun...it can get quite nutty.

The boys will go to a bilingual French school (medium in English and French) after their year of homeschooling in Ecuador which starts in September. Between now and then we will arrive, find a house, receive our shipment, move in and move on to figure things out. I hope to gain traction with teaching Yoga and doing Yoga therapy to see how that will work out as a way of making ends meet. Time will tell, perhaps even running yoga/trekking camps is something that can come into the picture, welcome yoginis and yogis from Ecuador and Lebanon, Portugal and Canada and everywhere in between! and I may have to get a real job although parenting remains my priority so we’ll have to see how she rolls.

One thing for sure is that the visit potential is high for Nepal….it should be a 3 year stay so there is time to plan and make it so. Recalling Kiplings line in his poem 'the Neolithic Age' ...and the wildest dreams of Kew are the facts of Kathmandu'. http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_neolithic.htm which actually refers to the growth of exotic plants in Kew Gardens in London but never mind! He doesn't really expand on which exotic plants!!!

Monday, April 22, 2013

A (not so) short reflection on international living

International living. Amazing: see new places, meet new people, eat varied food, discover new cultures, religions and ways of living. Fantastic right? Right! It is all those things and it is great, it is amazing, the coming of age for the jet engine (around the time I was born), online booking, free wireless videophony has provided the possibilities to travel and live anywhere you care to and opened the world of work incredibly.... The modality of international living though varies, moving from your home country to another and staying there is not quite what I mean. Ongoing mobility, contract work as a part of international living is what I would like to talk about, and it has to be said,.....its not all its cracked up to be.

In my adult life global mobility has been a very long trend. I started traveling in 1985 and before I moved to Malaysia in 2004 I had not lived in the same city or country for more than 21 months, including remote towns and the bush in Canada, Australia, Afghanistan, East Timor, Vietnam, Chad, Sri Lanka andTunisia, Ecuador since I was 21. For periods more than 21months I have lived in Kathmandu (3yrs), Kuala Lumpur (4.5yrs) and Beirut (3yrs)...these last two consecutively when the boys came along....kids tend to do that stick you down, ground you out, anchor you... not a bad thing at all. International careers are like this (mobile) and whether you work in the private or public sector mobility seems to be unavoidable. Certainly as part of the international civil service (working for the United Nations, World Bank, European Commission, etc) as an international consultant or staff member you are usually only in a certain country for a certain period of time, then you are moved along. This has been my experience over the past 25 years.

I find myself (approaching 50 pretty darn fast) no longer necessarily enamoured (I'll explain) with such mobility. What the mobility doesn't provide for is continuous quality connection with extended family and old friends which is a significant part of what I will call Identity. This needs un-packaging a bit because it is all inclusive of being present in person for marriages, births, funerals, injuries and moments of truth... and other 'life-turning' events in the lives of those we hold dearest emotionally...but not nearest in the physical sense. They come and visit if you're lucky, you can skype with people, but otherwise you weren't there to support the happiness, the joy or the grief, you aren't in any photos, your absence proving the point! Certainly you can travel and be there for pitiful few of those events but not nearly all of them...and you miss out on some great parties. These things define at least who we are from, our tribal roots and while Identity is the knowledge of who you are, knowing where you are from, your roots is a good starting point.

I have fond memories growing up in the same place, knowing every nook and cranny of my neighbourhood in Edmonton, Alberta....Lansdowne it was called. A neighbourhood of some 700 homes surrounded on 3 sides by ravine wilderness and farmland (until one side became a freeway) and then a main artery on the 4th side. I went to the local primary school, played at the local playground and playing field, worked at the local supermarket, shovelled sidewalks, cut grass, delivered newspapers on the same streets that I rode my bike around for years. We knew people and they knew us in a friendly suburban way that leant to our Identity.

Identity is under-rated. And in case you were wondering I am not referring to Identity in the 'nationalistic' sense.....or as personal sovereignty as an individual concept of global living or citizenry. Rather I am simply referring to knowing where you are from, who your people are, your tribe and thus a anchoring point in your otherwise anchorless world. For example my sons don't really know how to respond when they are asked where they come from....born in Malaysia, French mother, Canadian father (never lived in Canada or France), lived in Malaysia, Lebanon and now Ecuador but soon to be moving to Nepal. They speak English, French took Arabic for 3yrs in school and now have a smattering of Spanish. Some would say it isn't important.....'i come from the world'....a nice ideal, but I beg to differ; knowing your roots is important to knowing who you are. Their only place locator as an anchor is their grand-parents' house in France.

Community also infers Identity, but refers to more of an external factor than internal ones. Theres that nice little quote coming from rural communities in Africa.... where people rarely leave their home-place they say....'it takes a village to raise a child'.... substitute village with community and you get the gist of what I mean. Community; those people around you who support you, who will be there for you in times of need, who invite you to their gatherings and celebrations because you are part of the greater whole.

This past few months my sons and I have lived in a small southern Andean town of Vilcabamba in Ecuador, a place I first visited in 2001 on perambulations to learn Spanish (and surfing) during the first break from work in Afghanistan. I bought land there in 2001 and returned on another break from Afghanistan in 2003 to build a house (and ended up with more land). I have returned nearly annually since then until last year when we came in September and have stayed until now, May. We have watched the dry season give way to the wet (albeit not a very wet one) and seen the early return of the dry season... but we have enjoyed the blossoms and the greening up of the valley and noted the cycles of the varied flora in our garden and the valley.

We have developed community. Vilcabamba is a small town and, having been here over the years I have the benefit of knowing and being known to many local townsfolk. I have known their children since they were babies, and while my visits have afforded me only snapshots of the changes over time, I feel accepted here and known, even liked. In this evolving community there have been waves of expatriates coming and going. It is such a place that many are attracted to its year round very pleasant climate, it is known as the sacred valley for its tranquil ambiance, its waters are famously clear and clean, and it is heralded as one of the safest places in the world, free from chemtrails, GMO crops with an abundance of organic food. The current 'wave' of expatriates, these past 3-5yrs has included a number of small families and so, myself now with children, we have many friends who also have kids and bonds have been made.

When I consider the notion of community ala Vilcabamba I mean also the adult friends of my own and of my children. People who help guide them, like my neighbours, people who reinforce healthy living in diet and attitude and socialization, like their tutors in homeschooling and other significant people who have come into our lives enriching our experience in multitudes of ways. The community is very widely experienced and so they benefit from exposure to alternative views like the composition of the universe, they study sacred geometry, learn music from India during kirtans and music class, learn about growing seasons, medicinal plants, caring for farm animals and the list goes on. I too of course have benefited greatly from the friendships that have come about we live only a 10minute walk from town and you are quite likely to meet the friends because they are in town too and the conversations commence! Happenstance, serendipity and coincidence tend to dictate who you meet and where you might spend the afternoon.

These things, Community and Identity have become increasingly important over the past 30 yrs or so of travelling. In KL and Beirut we developed community, friends we would see on a weekly basis and then.... we left. They are still our friends but time and distance incurs the same penalty: a disconnect that only grows, as it does with the folks back home. Skype is no substitute for live face to face time. We will leave Vilcabamba in a couple of weeks and get back on the carousel of mobility. Next stop France for a short stop (visit the French grandparents) and then to Nepal. For me and for the boys this will be dislocating, even jarring, the only cushion upon landing being that they will be reunited with their mother and the family will again be intact.....at least once in Kathmandu we will all be in the same place!

I've rambled on long enough....so here is the qualifier....if I were to settle somewhere and really put down anchor, develop roots, how long before my only real life experience (residing everywhere only temporarily) as an adult prevails and I get itchy feet and long to move on? This seems to be the real conundrum. Lately I have been reflecting on where, doing what and with whom will I be doing it in the next decade or two...even where to 'retire' too? (Retirement...what an inane, contrived concept...can't believe I even think that way!) And about relationships; firm ones, ones that will endure with commitment, how do you make these when you are perpetually moving on. And what (?) between now and then whenever that will be. Do I embrace the idea of becoming sedentary, if so where? Or embrace the probability of remaining mobile? Which is it to be? I rest in the knowledge that Life has its way of providing the answers, I can see myself returning here to Ecuador (again and again) until I decide to stay. But I can see myself finding a beach somewhere and being happy there running a respite for burned out aid workers an orphanage (or both) or something like that. I can see myself doing both things.

I have given my life to making a contribution to humanity in almost all the work I have done so that is not likely to change. And given that perhaps I should accept that as the underlying them...not dwell on where or for how long....just let that all go. Only time will tell anyway and there are no definitives..... my favorite quote to describe life in general terms is 'the only certainty is that there is no certainty' (and say that with the Indian head waggle please). And so I carry on into the uncertain future.